On Today

Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

2009-02-21T22:00:00.001-05:00

So any loyal followers out there (HELLO . . . Hello . . . hello . . . ) -

In case you have been wondering where I have been these past few weeks and months, I have been working on a brand spanking new site! And I am using that term 'I' rather loosely. Jeremy, my beloved husband has been putting together the new site for my blog. Don't worry, all the old content has gotten pushed over there. There may be a few final kinks to iron out with media transfer, but basically what I am saying is, change your Google Reader listing! Change your bookmarks! And if you didn't have me bookmarked before, that's really ok. I forgive you. Here's the address that you should bookmark instead!!

The new address is http://beverlylynn.jeremyweber.com/ .

So come on over, kick your shoes off and make yourself at home. I look forward to seeing what you all think of the new diggs!

What are you doing still reading this post and this silly blog?? Go to my new site! Go on! Get outta here! http://beverlylynn.jeremyweber.com/

On Parking Attendants and Photographers

2009-01-30T09:47:00.003-05:00

My Life, One Big Mess

2009-01-29T23:18:00.005-05:00

I hope and pray that you are better people than me; that you can see God; that you know where you belong; that you don't give up. Make sure to call that friend you've been meaning to call. Give your sister or your spouse a hug. Give some money or a sandwich to the homeless guy on your street corner. Stop waiting for something to happen and go do it.

You ever wake up and realize that you are no where near where you thought you would be? Right now, I am lonely, upset, tired, scared and sad. I am getting out of shape, losing faith, getting lazier and becoming stupider.

I have been crying for the past hour and I have no one that I can call for comfort and advice right now. No one to turn to. I can't hear God. Not sure that I ever could. Nad I know its my own fault.

I am really good at faking the optimism, the faith, and even the intelligence.

I need to try harder to do better, to pray more, to read more. Maybe if I just wasn't so lazy, I would be a better friend, and hence have better friends. Maybe if I weren't so lazy, I wouldn't be so out of shape. Maybe, if I wasn't so lazy, I would be able to hear God better. Maybe, if I weren't so lazy, I'd do something with my life.

What does it even mean to "feel the presence of God"? Sounds hokey.

Oysters, square dancing, vienna fingers, and caramel apples.

2009-01-05T22:47:00.008-05:00

By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.
Genesis 3:19

It's funny how death makes you think about life. It is only five days into 2009 and I have a second funeral to attend. Last Friday I attended a service commemorating my friend's grandmother. I did not know the one who had passed on, but I went so that I could support my friend and her family.

This week I will be attending services for my grandmother-in-law, Doris Weber.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

Death is something that I both fear and look forward to.

Why do I look forward to it?

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelations 21:4

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going. John 14:1-4

I look forward to it because I will finally be fulfilled. I will be able to meet Jesus, the one whom I long for, face to face. I will worship Him and praise him full, as I was created to do. Maybe I will finally understand his ways; perhaps I will finally grasp the depth of his love. Until then, I do my best here, failing daily.

So why do I fear death at all?
Simply, I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of what will happen to those around me who are passing. I do not think that I could bear life without my husband. How do I know the hearts of those I love? Will they spend eternity worshiping with me? Or will we be separated forever?

I don't pretend to understand death at all. I don't know what heaven will be like. I don't know what our "heavenly treasures" will be. I do know that everything good and lovely here on Earth is nothing but a shadow of things to come. I know that as a child of God, I will be complete and fulfilled. I know that heaven is not fluffy clouds, cute chubby cherubs, harps and pearly gates only. I know that it is much much more than you can imagine.

I know that all I have and can influence is today.
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
To live is Christ . . .

Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. Psalm 39:4

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Doris Weber, Mom-mom is Jeremy's paternal grandmother. She lived in Lutherville, Maryland, down the street from where her mother had lived and across the street from her daughter.

Though I did not get to know her as well as I would have liked, there are some things that will always remind me of Mom-mom. Oysters from her Easter dinner, square dancing (which was a passion of hers), caramel apples because that is what she gave us for Christmas just 10 days ago. Square dancing played a large part in Doris's life. She showed me her closets full of old square dancing outfits, her basement was remodeled and designed so that there would be room for dances and dance lessons! The Mason Dixon Square Dancing Federation has a short post in memory of Doris. On the MSDSDF website, you can even see upcoming dances where Doris is slotted as a caller or cuer.

I asked Jeremy for one of his favorite memories with Doris and he told me about how he used to stay at her house and ride his big wheel up to Nanny's (Jeremy's great grandmother) to get vienna finger cookies, so add vienna fingers to my list.

In thinking about Doris and how I will remember her from the short time that she has been a part of my life, and in discussing the arrangements for this week, the conversation between Jeremy and myself ended up with thoughts about our own deaths and more specifically our funerals.

I don't want everyone to where black to my funeral. I'd prefer red. I also want to come up with some great song that you would never play at a funeral but will make everyone smile because of how I touched their lives. Hmm, perhaps the Beatles, or maybe Colin Hay, 'Waiting for my real life to begin.' Thinking about my funeral led to thinking about how people would remember me. Doris left me a great legacy in her grandkids, my dear husband and his brother whom is also a good friend of mine. What kind of legacy will I leave?

So as I think about what I want to leave behind, and how I want my life to have made a difference, however small in someone else's life, let me leave you with these words:

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Please keep Jeremy and his family in your prayers, especially Doris's husband Dan and her children Ray (Jeremy's Dad) and Linda.

That's sooooo last year.

2009-01-05T22:40:00.006-05:00

So its about that time of year where every blog and respectable media outlet or publication delivers a review of the old year, our mistakes and triumphs in retrospect and makes some sort of prediction for new year, 2009.

I suppose that it is my turn to publish some sort of thoughts on the year that has passed and the year to come, although I am about five or six days late.

New Year's is always a good time for introspection. Switchfoot's song really says it best. This is your life, are you who you want to be? This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?

I have to admit that I don't know. I don't know if I am who I want to be, but that is largely because I don't know who I want to be.

In the past year or so as I have been posting sporadically on this blog, my blog (as well as my life) has migrated. Just go read some of the earliest entries. I have gone from writing about my thoughts on life to posting pictures and updates on what I am doing. There is a time and a place for this, but that is not why I started this blog, nor why I called it 'On Today.' I like posting photos, especially as I become a better photographer, I hope to share that journey with you. But I also want to share my deeper journey, the journey of my life, of my heart and soul. I feel that as this blog has become a shallow log of my daily activities, my life has become shallower in what I pursue and prioritize. Two years ago I was leading Bible studies, engaging in thought provoking conversations on a daily basis, simply living more about God in my daily routine. I didn't have to try to fit God in, he was there. Now, I see myself slipping away from him further and further as the days go on. Not because of anything catastrophic, but because of laziness and complacency.

I don't know how to reverse this. Try googling "overcoming laziness" or "tricks to get motivated" and you will see a wealth of BS. I guess, as with all things, I am going to have to take this a step at a time. Two steps forward and one step back. Now I just have to make sure I don't get so frustrated every time I fall.

Perhaps things will get better once Jeremy and are settled down someplace permanent, perhaps when we find a new church, perhaps when I finish school so I don't have to deal with work + school + life all at the same time. But perhaps I am just making excuses not to make a change today.

I don't remember quite what the point was that I wanted to make with this post. There will be some logistical changes coming soon to this site (especially with the new location/revamp coming soon, get excited folks!) and hopefully, for those of you who know me, you will see a change in me too. Though its not so important that I change in your eyes, but in Gods.

[the greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.]

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?

Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that

I hear You whispering my name [You say]
"My love for You will never change" [never change]

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God

Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

Merry Christmas, from me and my husband!

2008-12-25T10:58:00.005-05:00

Matthew 1:18-25

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

P.S. Jeremy stole the idea for our Christmas card from This Young House. He even found the same mistletoe picture somewhere in the deep dark vastness of the internet! (It is mirrored from theirs . . . )

Free Wedding Photographer from Stacy!

2008-12-05T06:23:00.002-05:00

If you are getting married in 2009 or know someone who is, you need to check out Stacy Richardson Photography. Stacy is friend of mine and is giving away a complete wedding package! She is very good!

I love my husband!

2008-11-29T13:29:00.005-05:00

This is my Jeremy. I love him.
We both love photography.He shoots with a D50.

He shoots me shooting him with my D90!

I love my Jeremy! I am so blessed to have him!

I Just Know It's Not For Me.

2008-11-29T00:59:00.016-05:00

I love Annapolis! Coffee shops, boats, old buildings. A couple of weekends ago Jeremy and myself, along with two other couples, the Deterdings and the Richardsons, headed down to Annapolis for a photo scavenger hunt. Each couple came up with a theme and then we all headed out with our perspective spouses to find about 5 photos to 'enter' into each category.

The categories were 'Trash,' 'Hardware,' and 'Things that are essential that often go unnoticed.' Surprisingly, according to the judges (the Deterding's parents and brother), Jeremy and I won all three categories!

These were our entries:

Hardware (Jeremy's category)

Yeah, I took this one. Surprisingly, not Jeremy!

This was taken by Jeremy. Probably one of the best shots of the whole day! I love the color of the setting sun on the water!

Trash (Heather D.'s category)

As I was doing some slight color corrections on the this photo, I noticed one non-PG scribble on this door. I quickly got rid of it using my mad photoshop skills (learned from Mandy) so that I could post the picture here without any worry.

'I just know it's not for me.'

Things that are Essential but Often go Unnoticed (Seth's category)

Yes, this was actually the name of a boat that was tied up at the dock.

When did you last appreciate a good number?

Just imagine a world without doorbells!

Click to see some of the other shots we got that day!

All three couples actually took this photo or something similar, but the Richardsons were the only ones to actually enter it into the 'Essential but Unnoticed' category.

I almost entered this one for either 'Hardware' or 'Essential, but Unnoticed.' I am glad I did not use it as a final entry, however, since Steve also entered a fire hydrant shot!

I really wanted to enter this one into 'Essential but Unnoticed.'Bathrooms are often overlooked and undervalued!

Happy Thanksgiving and Moving Notice

2008-11-27T20:30:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Stay tuned because I am in the process of revamping my blog and when it is ready it will be moving to a new location! I will let you all know when that happens.

beverlylynn.jeremyweber.com

GIMP can be gimpy!

2008-11-22T23:02:00.015-05:00

UPDATE: The whole album is up on Jeremy's website at http://www.jeremyweber.com/gallery/PatLindsay. My photos all start with 'D90' and Jeremy's photos start with 'D50'. You can see my non-consistent editing. BLAH.

Especially when using it on a not very fast computer! GIMP is a free photo editing software program that does essentially everything that Photoshop does except that I cannot figure out how to get the GIMP equivalent of 'actions' to work correctly. So I am slow at editing because I have no actions at my finger tips and I am still learning, so these 60 some odd pictures were the result of more hours than it should have taken, but I am glad that I got some good ones.

Here are some of my favorites from that shoot that I did of Pat and Lindsay for their engagement. The complete set will be at www.jeremyweber.com/gallery. Not as good as I had hoped, but I think I got some good shots.

I really need to work on my photoshop/GIMP skills. And I need a faster computer. I spent several hours today on less than 8 photos! Oh well, this was a learning experience and we can only hope that I will get better with time. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions!

A special thanks goes out to Mandy who lets me tag along on her shoots sometimes! I have gotten to learn a lot from her and I applied it here during the shoot and during my post processing! (Thanks especially for the eye tips, Pat has amazingly blue eyes, and for use of the clone tool!)

Click 'Read On' to see some more!

Which of these three do you like?
P.S. Lindsay, I have a DVD for you! I will try to drop it off tomorrow. Sorry it took so long. :0(

This is one of Jeremy's shots! Lindsay, keep in mind that this is what you have to look forward to for the rest of your life! :0)

Now Back to the Regularly Scheduled Program

2008-11-22T09:42:00.002-05:00

Jared, Jeremy and I went the Waterfowl Festival in Easton last weekend. There were lots of things to see, tons of delicious food (like cream of crab soup, oyster fritters and the like) and a lot of artists. Some were local but there were also some that traveled a long way to be there!

My favorite artist was Don Rambadt. He did some metal work sculptures. I took a photo of one of his larger pieces, an osprey that he had outside the church where the gallery was set up. I did not take any photos inside because I was not sure how all the artists inside felt about photos being taken of their work. Jeremy and Jared really liked him too. His work is distinctive and he put a lot of thought into each of his pieces. My favorite was this little chickadee. Jeremy was also very impressed with the chickadee, he said that as simple as it was of a sculpture, it was also very obviously a chickadee. Jared really liked this set of owls that when you looked at them straight on it was obviously owls, but when you looked at them from a different perspective, it was not clear at all what they were. You can find a few examples of his work here.

Just a Thought

2008-11-18T23:22:00.003-05:00

Blast! I am becoming one of those bloggers who just rant about politics. . . I don't want to do that, but politics are the hot topic these days. Plus, I haven't posted in a while and this is something I can slap up quickly.

Sorry, we will be back to the regularly scheduled programming (i.e. my life) when I have time to breathe (i.e. when I am done with my classes), plus I don't like myself as a political commentator.

Enough rambling, just check out this video. Some thoughts about the media's influence on politics. . .
From the people who made that video. The whole story. Note that Zogby is a well respected polling organization.

Just to be fair, I couldn't name who Harry Reid was off the top of my head either. But at least I know the difference between Tina Fey and Sarah Palin.

P.S. Its 11:40PM, Jeremy is away on travel and I am doing homework. I turn into a pile of mush when Jeremy is gone. I love my Jeremy so much!

Vote and pray

2008-11-04T22:41:00.005-05:00

I voted. I prayed. And now I trust.

Whatever happens, God is in control.

Romans 8:28-35

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right. ~Abraham Lincoln

Ultimate brings people together

2008-10-27T06:03:00.006-04:00

Two of my very dear friends, Pat and Lindsay, just recently got engaged! I can claim partial responsibility in that I encouraged Lindsay to come out for ultimate where Pat was the captain. Lindsay and I have been good friends since my freshman year, and she is my sister! Pat and I have played ultimate together since my freshman year when he dubbed me 'Icebox.' Another story for another day.

Lindsay asked me to take some photos of her and Pat and her ring. So yesterday we wandered around Centennial Park as I forced them to open their eyes into the sun so I could get some good shots. With two exams coming up and being really busy at work, I don't have time to edit them quite yet, but I took a 'study break' last night for about 20 minutes so that I could share one of my favorite shots.

More to come soon!

P.S. If you missed the first ultimate link, you really need to check it out!

My Self Portrait

2008-10-23T00:56:00.006-04:00

So the bad thing about having class from 4:30PM - 10PM is that the caffeinated drink that I undoubtedly consume during it to try to stay awake and focused during my classes kick in once I get home and want to go to sleep. So here is a random post with a few pictures.

Here is my attempt at a self portrait with my new camera! The one shot I like how I framed, but the other one has me more in focus.

What do you think?

This is me being honest

2008-10-20T21:55:00.002-04:00

I am a little frustrated. Don't read more unless you want the ugly details.

I am not ugly nor dumb. Yet I seem to becoming both. This more than a simply girly 'I am soo fat,' so please don't dismiss this as something so petty.

A few things have been on my mind and I am just going to spend a few minutes complaining.

Motivation: I am so not motivated to do anything right now. Why? I have no clue. It gets worse when Jeremy is away. I don't feel like doing homework, doing stuff at work, cleaning the house or anything. Even books fail to tempt me. I can't concentrate on anything. Even easy homework problems and simple tasks are becoming a chore. I need to get rid of the TV and internet in my life, but I hate being alone and so the tv is pretty much always on when Jeremy is away. I googled 'how to cure laziness.' All I could find was 'get off your butt.' Thanks, I know that. I am just having trouble doing it.

Skills: I am not really good at anything. I am a jack-of-all-trades-and-master-of-none. I enjoy photography, but so does everyone and their mother these days! I am not really good at anything: I am mediocre at ultimate, at cooking/baking, at photography, at writing, at math and physics, everything.

Sleep: I can't sleep. And yet I am tired all the time. I can't fall asleep or I am falling asleep in the middle of the day. I can't get up in the morning. I think that most of that has to do with laziness and then I fall back asleep and then I am just more tired because then I have to pull myself out of a restless sleep to wake up.

Weight: My lack of motivation for anything (see section 1) also means not being motivated to get any exercise. Thus I cannot lose weight. I have been trying to eat healthier, but I know that is not enough, plus the lack of motivation gets in the way of spending the time to prepare a tasty and healthy meal. So I am slightly chubby and not getting any better, in fact, more than likely I am getting worse. And that is not good, for specific health reasons.

Uselessness: I feel useless. I have a good job but am lost. I don't have a passion about what I do. I don't know what I would have a passion about. Between work and class, I don't have time to do what I want. But then, again, I don't know what I want. I want to be a good wife, but on top of class and homework and work, I am not keeping the apartment as well as I would like and I don't get to cook as much as I would like.

Faith: My faith is stagnant. I told you I was going to be honest. I don't know where God wants me, I don't feel God at all. I can't hear him, and yet I yearn to be pursued. I believe that a lot of my feelings of uselessness and lack of purpose stem from my stagnant faith. Serving God is my purpose, but I am a low point on my sine curve. Speaking of sine curves I also can't shake the guilt that I have let down more than one of my friends.

Friends and Loneliness: I am lonely. I have the most awesome husband in the world, but this week he is away. Jeremy can't be with me all the time. I feel disconnected from all my friends, or those who used to be my friends. I feel like I have let a lot of them down. I feel like a lot of them have let me down. Now that I am out of school, friendships take effort. I have had several people subtly or not-so-subtly have inferred that its because I have gotten married. I do agree that marriage takes work and is definitely my priority right now, so if that is really a problem, then I guess everyone just has to learn that Jeremy is my number one. That aside, I miss my friends! I know that I am not the best at correspondence, so is it completely my fault? What about everyone on the other end? This past year+, my life has completely changed and so I have lost touch with pretty much everyone. There have been two specifically who have made a huge effort, and I love them for it!

So in short: I weigh more than I should, I don't know who I am or where I want to go, I am lazy and thus getting dumber and I am lonely.

I could use some help, but I don't know where to ask. I need to do something but I don't know what or where to start.

Yup, that is me spewing my complaints into the vast darkness of cyberspace. Now why am I posting this? One, I have no one else to talk to right now. Two, I kinda half hope that someone will read this and understand. The problem is that I 'know' all the answers, all the platitudes, every response that someone may give me. I can give myself a pep talk that could rival the best pep talk you've ever heard.

So now what?

Let Today be the Day

2008-10-11T22:45:00.005-04:00

Today I got to be the matron of honor in Whit and Rowan's wedding. Whit is Jeremy's brother.

Both Jeremy and I gave some advice and a little toast to the bride and groom and I thought that it would be nice to share the advice with every one.

Jeremy's was more personal, drawn very much from our first year of marriage, and directed mainly to Whit. His toast meant a lot to me because I know that this is stuff that he has learned from our marriage:

Hi everyone, I am Jeremy, Whit's brother and I'd like to give him some advice. Whit, I want to congratulate you on your marriage and give you some really sappy but good advice that I have learned in my really long one year of marriage.
1.) Whenever you have an argument, always remember that you love her, and she loves you, no matter what. And don't think that you won't have arguments, because you will.
2.)Every once in a while do something for Rowan that is special but simple for absolutely no reason. Cheap flowers from the grocery store work really well. But don't do that stuff too often, or she may come to expect it!
3.) Now many of you know that Whit has an old VW beetle, but I also have one. Whit, Rowan is more important that your car. It's true. Really. Spending time with her should always come first. As much as you want to work on your car, Rowan is your first priority, and always should be. I am praying for both of you and hope you have a wonderful life together. Congratulations.

Mine was a little more sappy, but hopefully better than the generic wedding toasts that you can find on the internet. I wrote this one all by myself:

Hi everyone, I am Beverly and for those of you who don't know me, I am married to the groom's brother. Whit and Rowan, I have this picture of you guys on my wall, Whit has his arms around you and you are laughing, probably because he is tickling you. I love that picture because it reminds me of how happy you two are together. Rowan, Whit, being married is awesome! You get to wake up next to your best friend every day and know that no matter what, he or she will always love you. It's really cool! Marriage takes work, though; sacrifices, putting the other a head of yourself. There will be hard times, just never forget how much you love each other. You'll get through it, and probably come out a little closer. I know I have.

So here are a few things to remember:
Always remember to greet each other with a kiss every morning, to encourage one another in all you do, to cuddle close when watching movies or in front of the fireplace.
Remember that smiles say a lot.
Remember to listen to what each other says and also what they mean, because it is not always the same thing.
Remember to share the spoon when you lick the brownie batter, to hold hands and use hugs liberally.
Remember to work through your anger or frustration as soon as possible and remember that sweet nothings really are something.
Laugh a lot and enjoy one another. You know you've found your love when you've found the one who makes you a better person.

Jeremy said to me a few days after we were married, 'I hope that in twenty years we look back and say, 'Man, and we weren't even that much in love back then.'' So this is my prayer for you two, that today is the day that you love each other the least. Ladies and gentlemen, to Whit and Rowan!

Whit and Rowan, We love you and are so happy to call you family! It was a beautiful wedding.

My Political Views

2008-09-30T14:19:00.004-04:00

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

I think I can pretty much sum up most of my political views in that one sentence.

All men - these rights are 'self-evident truths' that apply to everyone! In the whole world! Everyone. Not just me, not just Americans.

Created equal - All men are created equal. Don't discriminate by race, gender, ice cream preference. I do not deserve special treatment for being a minority female.

Certain unalienable Rights: Life - I am pro-life. Anti-murder. Who has the right to decide that an other's life is worth living or not?

Certain unalienable Rights: Liberty - I am free. Free to choose my lifestyle, choose my house color, free to speak my mind, free to worship my God, free pursue any job I want, free to succeed and free to fail, free.

Certain unalienable Rights: Pursuit of Happiness - Happiness was never guaranteed. I have the right to pursue happiness, but no where am I guaranteed to achieve it. The 'American dream' is not handed out to everyone who crosses the border or is born in this great country, it is something to be achieved through work and life.

Where do these rights come from? They were endowed upon us by our Creator.

Almost everything else can fall out from this. Almost.

On Family

2008-09-16T22:46:00.005-04:00

Unconditional love is hard to find. I believe that in a marriage, we get to experience as close to unconditional love as humanly possible.

Next to that, family.

Fortunately, I have been blessed with a great husband . . .

. . . and a family who loves me despite all my faults, and there a lot of them.

I love my mom and sisters!

What did I say? Lots of quirks and faults.

Love God and Do What You Want.

2008-09-13T23:06:00.005-04:00

This post completely wanders around a lot of stuff. Sorry for rambling, I will be more coherent when I have more time to post daily.

So last night, being the adventurous folk we are, Jeremy and I hit up redbox for a movie. I, feeling especially daring, let Jeremy go and pick out a movie all by himself. He came back with "Click" with Adam Sandler. It ended up being a lot more serious of a movie than I thought. Predictable plot with a few minor twists, so-so movie, but it made me think, and I like it when stuff makes me think.

Somehow I don't think I have ever pictured the angel of death looking like Christopher Walken. But that is really beside the point.

Everybody talks about this topic, about life going by to fast, about life being to short, about what we will miss as working parents. This is not a new concept. The young can't wait to grow up and the old wish they were young again.

I am somewhere in the middle. At times, I feel old. I am married, I have a 9-5 job and a little apartment. But I am not really that old at all. I have many years ahead of me, if the current mortality statistics are correct. I have "my whole life ahead of me," to be clich'e about it. Yet somehow, I feel a little trapped, a little lost, kinda like I am floating about.

To quote another movie, "I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time."

I have a friend who is considering joining the military. His reasoning is that they will pay for his school and he would get to see the world for a few years while he is committed to work for them. (His profession is such that he would not be fighting on the front lines.) He said to me that now is the time for him to do something like this, he is young and single. If he doesn't join the military, he is pretty sure what he would end up doing and that it would be in his hometown. This is not a bad thing, but once he is settled into his job, it would be a lot harder to just up and go.* I understand this very well.

I grew up in this state and have never left it for longer than three weeks. I lived in two different houses growing up, less than five miles apart. I went to college about thirty minutes from my parent's house, and now live and work about forty minutes from my parents. I tried to travel abroad my junior year of college, but it fell through for various reasons.

I am now in a comfortable job and I have a husband and we are looking to buy a house. I can't up and leave now. As much as I "can do anything I set my mind to," I just can't. Where would I go? What would I do? How would I pay for it? How will my husband respond/react/feel? Plus I really want a house, I want a place of my own.

The wanderlust has me in its grip again.

Questions keep plaguing me. Why am I here? Why do I stay at this job that I moderately enjoy? What is my purpose? Does my life make a difference anywhere or for anyone? Am I just floating around all accidental-like? Do I have a path that I am supposed to be following? Why do I feel so lost sometimes? Why do I feel so lonely sometimes? How can I make a difference in this broken world? What am I trying to do? What do I even want?

Someone shared this quote, so I have no idea where it originated:

Love God and do what you want.

I am trying my best, but, God, I don't know what I want to do.

*For completeness, my reaction to my friend wanting to join the military is mixed. I want him to go and experience everything that he can, to not feel stuck. I can live vicariously through him! On the other hand, I am selfish, I don't want him to leave me, he is one of my dearest friends. He is spending a lot of time in prayer and I know that he will go where God calls him and that he will blessing wherever he ends up.

No Room for "I"

2008-08-29T21:47:00.004-04:00

I won. 311 to 240. But I Jeremy still got out before me because I couldn't find a place to play this one stinking little 'i'. No place, not anywhere. I only won because I got "STRAINS" as a 7 letter word. WOOHOO!

Bragging rights to anyone who can find a place to play my 'i'.

I was helping!

2008-08-24T22:18:00.010-04:00

So today started off normally . . . late to church (40 minutes away), sneaking in the side door. We took Jeremy's bug. There was a picnic thing-er-ma-jiggy after church and we played some volleyball with Matt and Damien. As we fired up the bug to go home, Jeremy jumps out claiming to hear some weird noise. After some explaining, I heard it too. We couldn't find the culprit so we decided just to drive home carefully. You live and learn, I suppose.

Part of the way home, we smell a 'burning' smell. We pulled to the shoulder of Rte 100 and Jeremy checked the engine again. His engine was spraying a bit of oil and some of it was apparently dripping on the exhaust. We again decide that though this is not good, we could still make it home. A few miles later there was smoke coming out of the deck lid so pulled over a second time.

'That there is the carburetor; that wet stuff all over the whole thing is oil; I can pretend that I know stuff."

I believe that the smoke was from all the oil, the engine was spraying it everywhere way too much. Not wanting to risk seizing up the engine, we starting mentally going through the list of people close enough and who may be willing to come pick us up. Fortunately, Jeremy's best man, Madison, was around and not busy so he swung by and picked us up and took us back to our apartment. Also, fortunately, Jeremy had his tow bar at the apartment so we hopped into the truck and went to pick up the car.

I tried to be helpful. I took pictures, helped him back the hitch into the tow bar, took pictures, and got in the way.

Come on, Jeremy! I know you are busy but smile for the camera!

It was slightly nerve-racking with all the cars zipping by so fast! Slow down, people!!

Here is the situation from a different angle.

I just wanted to include a shot of Jeremy's cute behind.

We got the beetle towed back to our apartment just fine. Jeremy had a hunch about what happened so he tinkered around a bit, concluding that he was wrong. Then he went to where all good men go to solve problems, online forums. Apparently he found some people who had experienced similar symptoms in their beetles too. I don't know the details, but I imagine you can find them on the Samba. Or just ask Jeremy. I don't know anything about cars, I just parrot the talk. Blah blah blah, cylinders, blah blah, whale tales, blah blah, oo a '69 mustang 'vert, blah blah blah.

Yes, this is me helping. I was a big help.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-08-20T13:28:00.006-04:00

So some of you may have noticed a few additions and little doodads to this oh-so-wonderful blog. I was inspired (don't know why) to try to take advantage of the cool things that blogger does for you. With little to no html knowledge, I can create this awesome website/blog/thingy and do whatever I want with it! Blogger makes it so you can be as involved not involved in the code of blog. I like that. I can make my little tweaks without having to understand the whole set up. Very nice.

Anyhow, last week, I took to adding a few new features. Let me point them out because I want to. There are a couple of new aesthetic changes, but you can find those on your own. I added an RSS feed list so basically you all can see where I waste my time on the Internet and see just how boring of a person that I am. Honestly, these are blogs I read; they are about my friends or someone has pointed me there. There seems to be a consistent theme: people/friends, cooking and photography. That is actually not a horrible representation. I enjoy all three, though may or may not be good at any of them.

The other really awesome thing that I added is called a Zoom Cloud. I blatantly stole the idea from my cousin's blog. Zoom Cloud generates code that I can copy onto my blog that adds a 'cloud' of links generated from words in my blog. I love it. I am still playing with the colors, and Zoom Cloud says that at first it may not make the most sense, so be patient as it slowly gathers information from infrequent updates. Go check it out, it is wayyy too much fun.

I would do it with cookies.

2008-08-20T09:33:00.017-04:00

"I just figured that if I were going to make the world a better place, I would do it with cookies."

If you don't know where this quote is from then I STRONGLY urge you to stop reading now, and go rent and watch 'Stranger than Fiction.' I absolutely love this movie. It made me think; I love movies and books that do that. But this is all another blog post for another time, another day. The point, go watch this movie. In fact, I own it; come over and I will make you popcorn and we can watch this movie together.

Anyhow, back to why I was writing this post in the first place...

I've been thinking lately. . . whenever I say this, my husband promptly responds with an 'Uh oh.' I've been thinking about my life, about what it is and what I want it to be. We could get very deep and theological and philosophical on this point if I wanted to, but today I am keeping it simple. And I believe that it is about time that I kept my thoughts simple.

'This is your life, are you who you want to be? This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?'

Who am I? What am I doing? Does my life mean anything in the grand scheme of things? What is the grand scheme and will I ever get to see it?

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know and I don't know.

But that is ok, I think. Every once in a while I get depressed and lonely and I start pondering these questions more and more. I suppose that it is good that I face these moments of doubt, though, because without them, I may never choose to dwell on these deeper issues of life. But as I said, I am keeping it simple this time.

A couple of nights ago, I had a breakdown. I don't know why, or at least, it is not something I can explain. My husband simply took me in his arms and held me as I cried inexplicably. Eventually, as he continued to hold me, we began talking about God, church, houses, kids, work, our life essentially. I didn't really resolve anything, its hard to come up with an answer without knowing the question.

Yet the next day, I started thinking. I scaled down 'the grand scheme of things' to something that I can relate to a little more. I started thinking about what I wanted. I sent Jeremy and email entitled 'I think.' (I bet he was totally freaked out when he saw that subject line!)

I want to buy a camera. I think I want a D200, maybe we can find a 300 for cheap though. I am totally jealous of the high iso look. And a Macro lens. Do you think we could budget that in as a special purchase this year?

And I know what I want to do: I want to own a small business. Perhaps a coffee shop or a small restaurant or a bakery, or a gallery or a bookstore or some combination of the above. And I want to own it in a place where I have "regulars" and I know the community. I want to own so that I can be as involved as I want to, but still delegate to others. I know that this really wouldn't be much of a money maker. So we shall see if it ever happens.

Smaller goals in no particular order:
I want to be more organized: at home, with my finances, with my clothes/jewelry, at work, with my calendar, my life.
I want to be a more active photographer with my cannon and the digital.
I want to read my Bible more regularly.
I want to blog regularly
I want to read more in general, new stuff, stuff I haven't read before.
I want to cook and bake more often and better (cause I like watching people enjoy good food that I make).
Above all these, I want to make sure that you know that I love you. And I want to find out what God wants for me, for us. I want him to be active in my life and in other's lives around me. I just don't know how to measure this goal.

Here are a few other wants that I forgot in my email to myhusband, but that are extremely important to me:

I want to be a better friend to my sisters, Lauren and Kimberly, and to all my family.
I want to be a better friend to my friends.
I want to travel and see the world. (This includes eating Belgium french fries and seeing the aurora borealis in person.)

Jeremy, of course, responded with a lengthy email full of practical details on how we can accomplish some of these goals. I am not going to post the entire email here, but I want to share the highlights, starting with his opening line.

I think you are beautiful.
...
I would love to help you open a coffee shop/ small restaurant/ bakery/ gallery/ bookstore. I think you could combine nearly all of them into one.
...
I picture you doing something like the girl in Stranger than Fiction... you're smart, but it's not what you want to do. You'd rather make others happy by serving them delicious yummy stuff.
...
Let's work towards these things... I want to read more, read my Bible more, take better photos, and work on old cars.

Don't I have the best husband in the world? He even was thinking of the exact same movie that I was thinking about! (Go watch it, I am telling you, I love it!)

P.S. I relate my life to movies I have seen, books I have read and songs I have heard. So please forgive the excessive quotes that are smattered throughout my blog. The second quote used in this post is Switchfoot's 'This is your Life.'

The Pursuit of Happiness

2008-08-15T21:26:00.006-04:00

Have you ever thought about why happiness is an 'unalienable right'? Why should we pursue happiness over everything else?

My cousin recently started a blog, Making My Life Meaningful, discussing his views on life and it started me thinking about a lot of different questions. Many of these questions are not new to my thoughts, however I have let my mind become lazy of late. This question is one of the many. I don't know the answers nor will I ever pretend to.

Why do you think it is that everyone wants to be happy? Why should this emotion or state of being be the most desired? Why is pursuing happiness a worthy use of my life? What makes happiness an end goal?

I don't know the answers. And prior to today, I hadn't really given much though to this.

When searching an online Bible, I found that the word 'happiness' never appears in the King James Version; it appears once in the New King James Version, twice in the English Standard Version, six times in the New International Version and twenty times in the New Living Translation.

NKJV:
Deuteronomy 24:5 "When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."

ESV:
Isaiah 52:7 "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, 'Your God reigns.'"

Lamentations 3:17 "My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is;"

NIV: (not including passages included in above translations)
Esther 8:16 "For the Jews it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor."

Job 7:7 "Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath; my eyes will never see happiness again."

Ecclesiastes 2:26 "To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Matthew 25:21 & Matthew 25:31 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'"

These are some of the most widely used English translations of the Bible and I was surprised at how few occurrences there were of this word and also, how few of them overlapped. These passages also don't seem to speak a happiness that is guaranteed by God or even a worthy pursuit for my life. "This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

So what is happiness and why do we want it? What is the difference between happiness and joy? Is there a difference? Do I deserve happiness? And why?

What are your thoughts on this and how did you come to them?

I am tired and going to bed. Hopefully I will continue this in depth discussion with myself tomorrow.

Quarter Finals!

2008-08-06T23:13:00.000-04:00

They played savage 6, but still did pretty well for the circumstances. We won and are going to the semis! If we win the semis, then immediately following we play in the finals, making it a double header next Wednesday!

Deep Creek Lake (plus kids)

2008-08-03T21:49:00.007-04:00

This is me.

This is Jeremy.

We both make the same funny face when using a bow and arrow.

So we just got back from a long weekend in the 'hills.' This time, we took some families from our small group. So three couples, three two or three-year-olds and one baby spent the last three days in my grandfather's cabin!

Jeremy and I drove up Thursday night after my class and arrived around midnight. Friday we lounged around the cabin and walked to Kate and Steve's house while waiting for everyone else. The Migs showed up around 4 and we went to Herrington Manor to play in the sand while waiting for the Richardsons who arrived around 6 because Martha took them down a gravel road that dead ended at a locked gate.

That evening, Uncle Steve let us use his awesome new fire pit to cook hobo pies (mountain pies) and hot dogs over the open flame.

After some delicious s'mores, we headed back to the cabin to put the kids to bed. After that long ordeal, we were all pretty tired so we hit the sack. There was a tremendous thunderstorm that evening, it was amazing and reminded me of the awesomeness of God.

The next morning, after a scrumptious Californian breakfast of fresh fruit and oatmeal, everyone except for Stacy and baby Abby piled into the cars to head over to Deep Creek Lake State Park for some swimming. When we left the cabin it was still drizzling, but by the time we to near the park it, we were well into another thunder and lightning storm. We tried to find an arcade, but decided to head back and put a movie on for the kids and play some games.

Through Aladdin, a few rounds of Boggle and Farkle, and after some lunch, the skies cleared and we tried again to hit the lake. After spending a few hours there, we were treated to a delicious pork loin dinner presented by Stacy.

An after dinner walk of all the others allowed for Stacy and Abby and I to have a heart-to-heart on the front porch. After the walk and some watermelon, the kids went to bed with a few protests and the adults sat down to close, cut throat game of Settlers of Catan. Jeremy walked away the victor, with Tony a very close second.

This morning, we breakfasted on eggs, sausage and stawberries, then packed and cleaned. We hiked Swallow Falls and had a picnic before all the families piled into their prospective cars and headed home.

I want one of these.

This trip was a lot of fun, however different than most of our trips to the cabin. I can't say I am used to spending so much time with so many young ones. :0) I guess I should be used to it, living with Jeremy and all.

Us at Swallow Falls State Park.

Slow to Update

2008-08-03T21:46:00.002-04:00

So I have been busy (and lazy) so I have been rather slow in posting updates here. I have lots that I want to share from these past few weeks with the blackhole of cyberspace and I realized that blogger lets be backdate and forward date posts. So cool! So hopefully in the next few days I will be able to post a few stories. I am not worried about confusing too many of my loyal readers because they are imaginary :0).

Raspberries, Wineberries.

2008-07-03T23:59:00.012-04:00

On Thursday, July 3rd, Jeremy and decided to head over to Patapsco State Park to scout out a good pavilion to have the semi-annual Kremann family birthday party. We had planned on riding into the park, but Jeremy’s bike tire had sprung a leak from a faulty spoke puncturing the tube while riding home from work, so we drove to the Avalon-Glen Artney area.

I had already checked to see which pavilions were in my capacity range and were still open so we had a general idea of where were going. Jeremy knows the park pretty well. We found the pavilions we wanted and then decided to hike some of the nearby trails, one of which was the Soapstone trail.

We hike to the top of the hill and the trail came to a ‘T’ which surprised Jeremy because he thought he knew this area pretty well and he didn’t recognize the right branch. So that is the branch we took, though Jeremy was convinced it would dead end. Sure enough, the trail ended at a small clearing. I walked over to the far end of the clearing and hopped up on a fallen tree. I took a second just gazing into the trees, happy to be with my husband and in the quiet of the park. Husband? I realize Jeremy hadn’t followed me so I turned around and saw him wading though some bushes near the trail head, hunched over as if looking for something. ‘Jeremy?’ He stood up and looked at me with that goofy grin on his face, ‘I found raspberries!’ And he popped something into his mouth.

I look closer at the bushes around me and there were indeed lots of little red berries. I must admit that I was skeptical at first. Wild berries? Shouldn’t we wash them? What about possible pesticides? Are we stealing by eating these?

Jeremy’s enthusiasm and insistence that it was okay wore off on me and I began picking berries too! They were good! Sweet, and tart. Dark red, rather small, and hidden amongst thorns, but oooo so delicious. (I think wild animals probably got to all the easy to reach ones.)

We slowly headed back to the car, picking berries as we went along.

Later, Jeremy’s mom, Glenda mentioned that it was the wrong time of the season for raspberries and we were probably eating wineberries. After looking at Wikipedia, I am not sure.

This may seem like an insignificant story with no point. Maybe it is, but this is me and Jeremy. This is my life. Sometimes, God sends blessings in the form of berries.

You are my best friend.

2008-06-15T21:54:00.007-04:00

Ooo. you make me live
whatever this world can give to me
It's you, you're all I see
Ooo, you make me live now honey
Ooo, you make me live
You're the best friend
that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You're my best friend
Ooo, you make me live
I've been wandering round
But I still come back to you
In rain or shine
You've stood by me girl
I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend.
You're the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I'll never be lonely
You're my only one
And I love
The things that you do
You're my best friend
Ooo, you make me live.
I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend
You're my best friend
Ooo, you make me live
You, you're my best friend.
~ Queen

Photo by bridesmaid, Kate Laskowski.

I finally got my wedding album. I am still waiting for the digital negatives so that I can make prints, but the actual album is in and looks great. Waiting nearly 1o months for the album and being at 11 months still without negatives or prints is unacceptable, but what can I do now?

Anyhow, the photographer put our album on an online slide show so that we can share it with all our friends. (I didn't pick the music and don't know who it is. ) Please enjoy, and if you want some prints, hopefully I will have the negatives soon and can make as many prints as I like, so just let me know.

Thinking about my wedding brings back a flood of memories, mostly awesome but a few sad ones. The sad ones will fade because they are all of people who let me down in some way or another. But the awesome memories, these are the ones that I will never forget. I got to marry my best friend. We have years and years ahead of us to spend serving God together and loving each other. I can't wait!

Something that Jeremy and I did was to write our own vows in addition to the traditional vows. I have decided to share them here with you. Well, these are at least what we each had written down. What we actually said was probably some variation of the following:

Beverly, you are my best friend. You have been a great blessing in my life. As I marry you today, I promise that I will stand by you every day for the rest of our lives; no matter what good or evil may come. I will laugh with you, cry with you, pray for you, and cherish every day with you. I pray that as we become one today, our faith will grow stronger and we may live as God has planned for us.

Jeremy, you are my best friend. I love how you make me laugh, how you encourage me, how you just make me a better person. I can't wait to spend this life with you. I will stand behind you and beside you in everything that comes our way. I know we will fight, get angry, or hurt each other at some point, but I know that God will get us through. Every day, I will chose to love you. It is my joy to serve you, encourage you, respect you, and honor you. I promise to continue loving and serving you with all my heart and everything God has given me. Thank you for loving me, I love you, Jeremy Keith Weber.

Above photo by Damien Wagaman

Just so you know, Jeremy and I worked on our vows separately and never heard the other's until we were at the alter. We each both chose to begin our vows the same way on our own! Ironically, our first dance song was You're my Best Friend, by Queen.

Above photos by bridesmaid, Kate Laskowski.

P.S. The note that you see in the slide show was a note that Jeremy wrote to me and sent via his best man, Madison, to the bridal suite. It said:

Beverly -
You are my best friend and I can't wait to marry you today! Relax and take a deep breath. Everything is ready to go and anything that goes wrong doesn't matter.
I love you and can't wait to see your dad walk you down the aisle in a few minutes!!
Love,
Jeremy

Diversity Training

2008-06-13T11:04:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I had diversity training. Yes, now I am officially diverse. I went prepared for the worst. I have been through several diversity trainings during my lifetime and I must admit, that this one was, by far, the best. For one, I didn't leave feeling like I was to blame for the all problems in the world, nor did I leave feeling like a victim. (I have had some excruciatingly bad experiences in the past.) The training was done by Howard Ross of Cook Ross, Inc. He did a very good job of talking about diversity in all different aspects, while at the same time, not minimizing the seriousness of the more blatant issues. He didn't give the guaranteed-to-work-in-6-easy-steps fix to the issues of diversity. He was real about it.

He discussed subconscience biases and actions or thoughts that I never thought of as having to do with this subject. I left having learned a lot about myself.

This comment struck me the most:

'The more you know who I am, the less you will react to what I am.'

It's something to chew on a bit.

Jack-in-the-Box

2008-06-08T20:19:00.009-04:00

When I was in high school, I had some friends, Daniel and Lauren, who were both from California (or had lived in California at some point). They would always talk about this awesome fast food restaurant called Jack-in-the-Box that had a cool little antenna topper. So of course, 5+ years later, on my road trip through the northwest of the U.S. (see the previous post), I made sure to stop at a Jack-in-the-Box and I definitely made sure to get the antenna topper.

Of course, once we left the restaurant, I realized that my Jetta has one of those short, fat antennas on the roof, thus I don't think that Jack will fit on there well. So I put it on Jeremy's beetle when we got back. It is inside now, though, because I had to fly 3,000 miles to get it and I don't want it to blow away in these crazy thunderstorms we've been having! Who knows when I will be on the west coast next.

Eating there reminded of Daniel and Lauren, both whom I have not seen in a while. I have great memories with both of them and am so thankful that they were in my life. It is ironic that I thought of Daniel this past weekend, because he got married on May 30^th! I got to see the pictures because my good friend Stacy was their photographer. Many congrats to Daniel and his new bride!

P.S. I just looked at the Jack-in-the-Box site and it looks like there are locations in North and South Carolina. Maybe they will be coming to Maryland sometime soon!

1462.4 Miles

2008-06-06T23:00:00.034-04:00

6 Days, 5 Nights: Approximately 137 Hours; 1462.4 Miles by Car; Approximately 5,900 Miles by Plane

This past week (May 30 - June 4), Jeremy and I took advantage of his frequent flier miles* and hotel points to take a road trip from San Francisco, California to Seattle Washington. This is our tale. 1462.4 miles of driving.

Disclaimer: This post is a detailed summary of our trip (with pictures!) and thus is pretty long so you may want to skip it. (Not that anyone reads this blog anyhow.)

Note: Click on images for a larger view.

Day 1: Friday, May 30^th

Jeremy and I left the apartment around 7am (EDT) for a 9:30am flight from BWI. The flight stopped in San Diego before heading up to San Francisco, but we didn't have to change planes. Interestingly, on the leg to San Diego, the flight attendants gave out a bottle of champagne to a random passenger. The flight attendant randomly had someone poke a hole through paper that had a layout of the aircraft and the person in that seat number was given the champagne. I have never heard of this happening, especially not on a Southwest flight. I believe they did this because there were a large number of passengers flying to San Diego to take part in a Team in Training charity run.

The leg to San Francisco was delayed because of clouds there. (overreacting, maybe?) We eventually arrived and made it out of the airport in our rental car (a G6 from Alamo) around 2pm (PDT). Airlines have long since stopped giving out meals, even on 6+ hour cross-continental flights. (I think you have to take a trans-atlantic or something of that equivalence to warrant a meal.) Thus, by the time we got into the city, we were quite hungry. We drove up to the Fisherman's Wharf by way of Lombard Street. You cannot go to San Francisco and not drive or walk down Lombard Street.

Once we got to the wharf, we had to hunt for parking and the meter ate more of our money then it should have (parking in SF is the worst!). We then walked around the shops a bit but hunger dictated our actions.

So we bought sourdough bread bowls with chowder for Jeremy and chili for me. Warm and yummy!

After our meter ran out, we drove around the city some more. We hit Chinatown, drove by Telegraph Hill, and down some street that was in Bullitt.

The streets in San Francisco are incredibly steep! There were times when I wasn't sure that our car was going to make it up the hill. It is a good thing that there is no snow there because it would be impossible to get around; I am not sure how people there get around when it rains! The architecture in SF is interesting and colorful.

Finally we headed out of the city to Livermore where the Gracewskis live. We got there around 7:40pm. They are friends of the family and Suzanne is an especially good friend of my mom's. It was so great to see them and to catch up a bit, and they were so generous and let us intrude and crash at their place. Suzanne made us an absolutely delicious cherry pie from freshly picked cherries that evening. We slept in their guest room, and the next morning, we breakfasted with them over Belgium waffles and fruit. She really spoiled us. I am so blessed to have friends like them.

Day 2: Saturday, May 31^st

Jeremy, me, Al, Jessica and Suzanne. (Nate was still sleeping).

After breakfast, Suzanne sent us away with some fresh cherries and some cheese (from Tillamook, OR). We stopped at a Safeway to pick up a few groceries in an attempt to save a few dollars by eating sandwhiches. We got a couple of on-sale cases of Snapple, bread, lunchmeat, mustard and crackers. I had bought a insulated bag that I rolled up in my suitcase to keep our perishables in throughout the week.

We then headed back into the city to visit the Golden Gate Park. I loved this park. In fact, I do believe it was one of my favorite parts of San Francisco. It was large and full of all different types of activities and venues, to name a few: tennis courts, a bowling green, a stadium, an amphitheater of sorts, and even to our delight, a disc golf course! Plus there was free parking in the park!

There was also a Japanese Tea Garden. There is a lot of history to this place, but I won't bore you with it here, except for one pretty cool fact: the designer of this garden is credited with the invention of the fortune cookie! The garden was colorful and beautiful. We came at a good time, so much was in bloom!

Of course, I had tea. What else do you do in a tea garden? I had oolong tea and they served me some rice crackers and cookies with it.

In addition to visiting the tea garden, we hiked a few of the paths around the park and drove around it in search of the disc golf course. Fortunately, we found it and so we stopped to play a few holes, 7 to be exact. We didn't bring out set of disc golf discs with us because it would take up a lot of room in our checked luggage but we had some trusty ultimate discs, so we didn't look as snazzy as all the other players on the course, but we had a great time! We were nearly tied for strokes the whole game, usually on par or a stroke or two above, but Jeremy came through in the end for the win with a luck throw that put him one stroke ahead of me on the last whole we played. Blast! It was a lot of fun.

We left San Fransisco around 1:30ish in the afternoon. We took the Golden Gate Bridge out, so of course we stopped to take photographs. There was a cute little town below the bridge but we couldn't figure out how to get down there. We did circle around trying to find a near-by cliff that we saw lots of people on, snapping photos of the bridge.

It was a little windy.

We then traveled up 101, electing this route for a bit so that we could hit a winery or two. I randomly picked a road on the map to take to cut over to route 1 so that we could drive up the coastal highway. This road was River Road and it ran along the Russian River. Apparently it is a fairly widely known area for camping and vacationing and such. We stopped at the first winery that we saw, Martinelli. They were a family run vineyard and let us taste several of their wines. They didn't have a tour, and I had really wanted a tour so we pressed on. The lady who gave us the wine tasting suggested Korbel's, stating that they had a good tour.

At Korbel's, we took a tour that talked about the history of the place, and the history of how champagne is made there. All of Korbel's champagnes are made méthode Champenoise, which means that the wine was fermented in the bottle and all the bubbles are from the yeast and the fermentation, as opposed to 'lesser champagnes' which inject carbonation into wine, much like soda is carbonated. Apparently, Korbel is the number one distributer of champagne in the US. After the tour, we tasted a few champagnes and bought a bottle that can only be boughten directly from Korbel's.

Jeremy and I at Korbel's

Continuing down River Road, we eventually hit route 1 and headed up the coast. This drive is gorgeous, winding, along cliffs, the beautiful rocky coasts . . . and cows. Yes, cows. There were a couple of cow crossing signs along the road, but Jeremy and laughed at them, noting the steep hills to our right and the sheer cliffs dropping off to our left. Then we saw a cow on the side of the road and he posed for the camera.

Then we got stuck in traffic. Though it was just us and the, um, vehicle in front of us. It was slow going until we found a safe, quasi-straight away in which we could pass.

We stopped in some blink-and-you-miss-it town for some gas and dinner. Of course, I picked the most expensive gas station along the entire length of route 1. Oh, well. Dinner was pretty good. We ate at a little biker bar/bbq place. The interior was uniquely decorated; the walls were covered in license plates, skeletons, stuffed wild boars. . . yeah. The food wasn't bad.

As the sun got lower on the horizon we started looking for a place to view the sunset. Every place we saw, we said 'It's not quite time yet', or 'Meh, we will find a better place.' Finally, just as the sun was sinking, we saw a pull off with a beautiful beach. We sprinted down the dunes toward the shore, just in time to get a few snapshots before the sun was beyond our view. The stop lasted perhaps 10 minutes, which was good, because we were behind schedule and still hours from our hotel.

Back in the car, we were determined to make it to our hotel at a reasonable time. As we went along, route 1 got windier. The last 20 miles before rte. 1 met rte 101 were practically u-turns every 20 feet or so. This took us nearly an hour to get through, in the dark.

We arrived at hotel, the Holiday Inn Express in Mckinleyville, CA, just north of Eureka, at 11:40pm. Our plans to go through the Avenue of the Giants in route to the hotel were nixed since it was pitch black when we drove by them. We were exhausted that night.

Day 3: Sunday, June 1^st

Sunday we took it a little easier. We slept in and lolly-gagged around the hotel a bit enjoying our complimentary breakfast before hitting the road around 10am. There is not much between Mckinleyville, CA and Medford, OR except for the Redwood National Forest, so we had previously dubbed this to be our redwood day.

Since we missed the Avenue of the Giants the night before, we turned around and backtracked an hour or so to drive through the Avenue of the Giants, where some of the tallest redwoods are located.

We stopped along several little hikes, took tons of pictures and searched for Ewoks. We stopped at a couple of tourist traps, the Immortal Tree, and Shrine Drive-Thru Tree in Meyers Flat.

After the driving through the 5000 year old tree (so claimed by the sign), we turned back north and headed up 101.

We stopped in Eureka for lunch at a Jack-in-the-Box for delicious burgers and cool antenna topper. Then we continued up 101 which lead us right through the Redwood National Forest. We stopped for couple mile hike through the Lady Bird Johnson Grove, but still didn't find any Ewoks.

It was absolutely beautiful just driving through the redwoods this day. While driving through Klamath, we noticed a couple of inconspicuous figures on the side of the road. So we pulled over and got pictures with them.

This was at the Trees of Mystery, although we didn't go in, so I have no idea what was so mysterious about the trees in that area. I was just hoping that Paul Bunyan would talk. On our way out, we also stopped at the Klamath River overlook, apparently a good place for whale watching, although we didn't see any that day.

Oh, on a random note, we saw a couple eating a Jack-in-the-box at the same time that we were, whom we saw several other times while driving that day. I am not sure why I noticed them the first time at the restaurant, but they were young, about our age, and it seemed as if she didn't know English well, because he kept explaining things to her. It was cute. We saw them again as we were walking out of the Redwood National Forest visitor center and I know that they recognized us too because he smiled at us. Jeremy, of course, recognized their van, and later after we had crossed the state line and were well into Oregon, we saw them parked in their van at one of the many pull offs. I was kind of not-so-secretly hoping that we would run into them again and make friends, but our hotel was quite a bit inland and we didn't see them again.

There were a lot of more winding roads to follow as we crossed into Oregon. The scenery changed a bit, more green.

We made it to our hotel, the Candlewood Suites in Medford, OR about 7:30pm. We were glad to get in early because the day before had been so long. We relaxed, mapped out our route for the next few days, watched part of 'Hook' on television. I must admit that I do not remember Hook being that cheesy. I used to love that movie! We snacked on cherries and some sandwiches made from our groceries. We also tried to find a Target to get a razor (I had broken Jeremy's electric razor the day before by dropping it) and a bathing suit (Jeremy had not told me that most of the hotels we were in had pools and I was sad because I love swimming!), yet we had forgotten that it was a Sunday night so there was nothing open at all.

This was the night that the power cord on my computer broke. It stopped charging, which meant we couldn't charge the GPS because the only charger we had was the usb charger, so we were charging it through the computer.

All in all it was a good long day and we were happy to hit the sheets.

Day 4: Monday, June 2^nd

The next morning, Jeremy went down to the business center to print some maps (remember, my computer is now dead and thus we have limited time on the GPS) and I went about getting ready for the day. I leaned slightly on the sink and it fell in. A sign that I need to lose some weight? Maybe, but as it turns out, sinks all over the hotel (which only had been around a year or so) had been falling in, according to the maintenance lady.

We made it on the road without any further mishaps and hit a Sonic for breakfast around 9am. Then we had to decided if we wanted to head east to see Crater Lake and the Old Man of the Lake, or head west to see the great coastal dunes of Oregon. The 200-400 foot sand dunes won out. We drove about 3+ hours back towards the coast to the Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area. We hiked about 4 miles or so at the Tahkenitch Area.

It was really neat because we had to hike through a rain forest to get to the dunes. Hiking in sand is hard work.

Me running down the dune, not thinking about how hard it was going to be to get back up it. Especially after 3+ miles of sand hiking.

We got down to the beach, but erosion had created a cliff so we couldn't make it quite down there, but we still had a great view.

Jeremy's desert flower.

Because we hit the Oregon dunes, we didn't have time to visit Tillamook cheeses and make to Portland in time to see the city. I was slightly disappointed, but that's how we planned things: see what we could in the short time. We hit most of the good stuff, I think.

After dumping the sand out of our shoes, we headed back inland and took I-5 up to Portland (another 3 hours of driving) to check in to our hotel, Staybridge Suites, about dinner time. After checking in, we headed back downtown Portland and wondered around a bit.

There was a carnival by the river, and there was some sort of elevated train above us as we drove in that looked pretty awesome, but we couldn't figure out how to get over to ride it. We stopped at a Starbucks so I could add Portland to my collection of City Mugs. We ate dinner a random restaurant called Rock Bottom Brewery, which turned out to be a chain. So much for local tastes.

Day 5: Tuesday, June 3^rd

We left Portland fairly early to make sure that we got some time in Seattle. We decided to try hit a famous mountain, Mt. Saint Helena or Mt. Rainier, which is an active volcano encased in glaciers. We decided on Mt. Rainier based on the driving times.

Panther Creek

It was a couple hour detour to get around Mt. Rainier National Park and all the little side roads that I wanted to drive up and hike were close, I presume because of snow. The brochure had advised to call ahead in case of road closures but I figured, it's June, we should be fine. We had a great time anyhow. At first we were worried that it was a huge waste of time because it was rainy and foggy for most of the ride out to the mountain. But then we started seeing snow, huge drifts of snow on the sides of the road. It was absolutely gorgeous. We crossed a couple of really pretty streams. Finally, we stopped at one of them, Panther Creek. We got out, took some photos of the stream, which was so blue because it was so cold! Then I took a snowball to the stomach and we ran through the woods pitching snowballs at each other. It was great packing snow!

From rain forests and sand dunes one day to snowball fights the next.

On our way to Mt. Rainier, we saw a moose or something on the side of the road (it was a large deer looking creature with a really dark face; maybe it was an elk). It pretty much posed for us, but Jeremy's camera was in the back seat and I couldn't reach it in time.

I was a little bummed that we didn't get to hike any up the mountain, but the drive was beautiful and Jeremy is like a little kid when it comes to snow. Fortunately, the roads that we needed to make a complete loop around the park and back to I-5 were still open, even though most of the others were closed. On our route was a spectacular view of Skookum Falls. Jeremy was thirsty.

The road followed along White River, which is white because of 'glacier dust,' which is crushed up glaciers. I read about it on the sign by an overlook.

Before we hit I-5 again, we grabbed a quick bite to eat at DQ. Even after all that, we made it our hotel by around 2pm. We stayed in the Crown Plaza Hotel downtown Seattle, complete with valet parking (for a small fee, of course). Being the klutz I am, I pretty much got my suitcase stuck in the revolving door until one of the bellhops opened the door next to it for me. As we checked in, the receptionist informed us that we had been upgraded to an executive suite on the top floor (34th!). We had a beautiful view of the city. It was awesome, because the top couple of floors had to swipe their cards in the elevator to get to that floor. Being in an executive suite (or perhaps because Jeremy travels too much and is a platinum member of every freaking hotel chain in the continental U.S.) entitled us to a free appetizer buffet in the evening and breakfast in the morning. It was pretty awesome getting in an elevator while wear jeans and hoodies and there being a bunch of people in suits watching you swipe to get to the top floor! HA! Oh we were soooo special!

The view from our window. The discoloration is from the tinting.

Although, I would trade all the free upgrades and perks and free flights and anything in the world to have Jeremy home more often.

We got lucky and a had a few hours of quasi sunshine (I saw a bit of blue between the clouds!). So we took advantage of it and walked over to the Space Needle.

We rode to the top, for a freaking huge fee, and took a picture of our hotel from the top. (To compliment the photo we had taken of the Needle from our hotel room.)

Our hotel is that building in the middle. Nope, not that one, the shorter tinted, hard-to-see one. Yeah.

We walked around downtown a little bit and ended up at Pike Place Market. It was getting to be around 5 or 6 by now and everything was shutting down and closing up. I was slightly disappointed to miss most of the stands, but it was kinda of fun to see the bustle of everyone shuffling around, packing up and such. The market was so colorful and busy; I think it was one of my favorite things that we saw this week.

For dinner, we caught up with a friend from college, Sean Lindsey. He surprised Jeremy by inviting one of their mutual friends from high school, Andy Ewing. We went to a wine bar called Purple and ironically all ordered beers. The food was creative and good, although slightly expensive. So in Seattle, according to inside sources, it drizzles or mists all the time, but it rarely pours. Well, we apparently had to compensate for those few hours of sun that we had enjoyed earlier that afternoon and for the 5 minutes that it took to walk to the restaurant from our hotel, the sky simply bucketed water. I was literally soaked when we arrived. The waitress was kind enough to bring us extra cloth napkins to pat dry our faces.

After eating and chatting for a few hours with Sean and Andy, we headed back to the hotel to rest up.

The view from our room at night.

Day 6: Wednesday, June 4^th

We got up quite early (for a vacation) and tried to get a ferry ride before we had to make it to the airport. We at one point had planned on driving a few miles northwest of Seattle and taking a ferry into the city. Everyone says that it is a spectacular view. We had to make a choice though, between going west to the ferry or east to Mt. Rainier. The active volcano beat out the boat ride.

Anyhow, we now wanted to see if we still had time to take a ferry, just a round trip out and back so that could see Seattle from the sound. By the time we got down to the dock and figured out where the ferries where, it was after 8am and the next ferry didn't leave until 8:45am. With a 1.5 hour round trip, and a 20 minute drive to the airport, we would have been cutting it a bit close. Instead of doing that and rushing around, we strolled around Pike Place Market and all the surrounding shops. Some of the market was up and bustling around, but a majority of the stands were still setting up.

Again, watching the people and the colors and the bustle was just so much fun. We wandered, got some breakfast at a place called The Three Girls Bakery. Breakfast consisted of raspberry croissants, coffee for me and hot chocolate complete with whipped cream for Jeremy. A fruit vendor handed us slices of peaches claiming that they were 'the best ---- peaches in the world.' And I must admit, that he was right. They were at the perfect ripeness and just melted in my mouth. I just about turned around and bought a dozen or so, however I didn't feel like navigating tons of peaches through security along with my laptop and cameras. There was also a cute little cheese making place, called Beecher's where we got sandwiches to take on the plane with us. (Flying from 1pm PDT to 12am EDT with only peanuts and pretzels is no fun!). The cheese making area was glassed in so you could watch the process. There were some huge vats with milk and huge stirrers, and I watched it turned into curds and get pressed and chopped into blocks. They whey got drained into the city's sewer system. Evidently the bacteria or whatever that is in the whey is great for getting toxins out.

I think that I am an artichoke.

Finally we headed back to the hotel to check out and made our way to the airport. We dropped off the rental car, giving one of our left over Snapples to the woman who checked in our car. We had stuffed a few Snapples into our checked luggage, yet still had a few we couldn't fit. Waiting in line to get our boarding passes and get through security, we each chugged a final Snapple. Gotta love that no carry-on liquids rule.

We discovered that our flight was delayed so we wandered the airport a bit. Body Works was having a huge sale so I bought my favorite lotion (normally 20 bucks a pop for 5 dollars!). Our plane from Seattle ended up being a bit later than then thought and we didn't get off the ground until after 1:30pm.

This was the day when there were huge thunderstorms across the nation and tornadoes throughout MD, even in Anne Arundel County where my parents are. Thus, there was a lot of turbulence the entire flight and the 'fasten seatbelt' sign was never turned off. Once it got dark, I could see thunderstorms in the distance. It was incredible and breathtaking to watch lightning jump from cloud to cloud while being 35000 feet in the air. I don't think I have ever watched a lightning storm like that.

We made it home around 12am EDT, tired, realizing we had to get up at 6am the next morning for work. We grabbed a few not-quite-a-dollar menu items from Wendy's since we hadn't eaten since 1pm PDT which is 4pm EDT. Fortunately, our house was not one of the many without power in the state so we got in, dropped our bags on floor and went to sleep.

It was a wonderful trip to see another beautiful area of the country. I serve an awesome God who gave us an amazing world.

More pictures are coming soon to JeremyWeber.com/gallery.

*So there is one advantage to Jeremy traveling all the time. But whatever anyone says, these flights and hotel stays were not 'free'. I paid for them with many weeks of loneliness while Jeremy traversed the world on business. An aside, Jeremy is in England for the week of June 9th and has another trip planned for next week.

It's no small thing

2008-05-19T19:18:00.001-04:00

'It's no small thing that God asks of me, but it's no small God that I serve.'

Questions to consider

2008-05-12T21:44:00.003-04:00

Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone -
while the morning stars sang together,
and all the angels shouted for joy?

Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
when I said, "This far you may come and no farther:
here is where your proud waves hit'?

Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

Engineering Marvels

2008-04-19T08:30:00.004-04:00

Humans have amazing minds. I love that God has made the world all work together and given us the capacity to learn the laws that govern nature. I love that God has made us rational, logical creatures, that we can use the intelligence that God has given us to understand the world in which we inhabit and thus be able to marvel even more at Creation.

It is amazing what we can do, both for good and evil, using these brains that God has given us.

I was given the opportunity to tour Norfolk and see some ships and submarines that are in the U.S. Navy today. I am again reminded how little I know and how smart some people are because these machines were incredible.

First we toured the USS Theodore Roosevelt (above). It is a large carrier. This ship catches planes with a wire! Planes like this one (which happens to be a squadron leader's plane, if I remember correctly):

The anchor that stopped this carrier was HUMONGOUS! Each link in the chain weighed 360 lbs and I couldn't wrap my two hands around the link! The coordination and engineering that went into this entire entity just blows my mind. We also got a submarine, the USS Jacksonville, and an Aegis destroyer, the USS Nitze. We were not allowed to take photos on the sub. Security precautions.

Another fact that was pretty cool to me was that in the bridge (where the captain and the navigator do their stuff), there was some pretty neat technology, GPS, that sort of thing. Yet, in addition to all these electronics, there was a basic compass (using a large scale magnet) and a map table (below).

So even as technology advances, it is still the human brain using a compass and paper maps and pencils, charting the course.

Below is a shot of an amphibious ship that I could see from the deck of the Nitze. It carries Marines for landward sector missions.

P.S. I made a new friend on that trip. New friends are a great blessing because, (to borrow words from Stephen Lawhead), in time they become one of the greatest blessings of all, old friends.

To All Those On The Roads

2008-04-18T17:32:00.005-04:00

UPDATE: The following especially applies to all those who have the stupid green stickers that state 'Choose Civility' or the little fish advertising their faith. Driving badly is one thing and being a flat out hypocrite is something entirely worse.

Dear Fellow Drivers,

I wish to inform you that, despite what you believe, on-ramps, off-ramps and shoulders are not built for personal-swerve around traffic-zip past stopped cars-lanes. I don't care if your car is more expensive than mine, or if your truck is ten times larger than mine, you are NOT entitled to pull out into lanes that are ending or onto shoulders just to make sure that you are about 5 cars farther down the road than you would have been if you had simply followed the rules and showed a slight inkling of courtesy.

Your reckless actions could result in accidents and you simply cause more traffic for everyone behind, because now, instead of you merging into traffic gradually, you drive until you reach a point where someone has to stop completely to let you in.

Do you remember the manners that your mother taught you? Well, they still apply when you are on the road. So please learn how to drive and try to be courteous before you kill somebody.

Your Friend,
'The Driver of One of the Cars you always Zip by and almost Sideswipe as you Swerve onto the Shoulder to Pass Traffic'

Sweet Lov'n . . . and Cook'n

2008-04-13T21:09:00.006-04:00

So what happens when you let Jeremy in the kitchen with a wok and free reign?

Rather unusual fried rice/stir fry stuff with a secret ingredient.

I was busy "working" (or banging my head against the table) on physics homework so Jeremy stated that he would cook tonight. Around 8PM he starts rattling around in the kitchen. He doesn't really like me to poke my nose in when he is cooking because I will tend to take over. So I let him be.

We sat down to dinner and the food looked pretty good but when I tasted it, I was in for a bit of a surprise. It was sweet! You know you are in for a treat when you ask 'What's in it?' and the reply is a repeated 'Do you like it?' Jeremy put some teriyaki sauce in, and then decided that wouldn't be sweet enough. He scrounged around looking for brown sugar, but couldn't find it. So he added a little bit of white sugar . . . and pancake syrup.

It was a rather unusual dinner, though not completely un-edible. In fact, it really wasn't that bad. (If you want the recipe, I am sure Jeremy will share the secret.)

I love my husband and the fact that he will make me dinner or vacuum and all that when I need him too. No offense to my past roomies, but Jeremy is the best roommate I have ever had!

Lesson learned: my husband is a very 'sweet' guy!

Free Rice and Traveling to Mars

2008-04-08T22:26:00.004-04:00

I found a really cool website. Slightly addicting, but all for the good, (if it is legit and it seems so as far as I can tell.) FreeRice.com. My highest score is 41. Just try to beat that! (Without cheating!)

Have you ever dreamed of becoming an astronaut? I used to dream of being an astronomer or at least working with astronauts from this side of the atmosphere. I wanted to be one of those guys who made it possible for the astronauts to be out there, one of those guys sitting in that room with the big screens and rows of computers, cheering when they land on the moon or when they just make it back safe, pulling out my hair when something is going wrong, standing up and shouting 'I got it!' then running up to the person in charge with a messy stack of papers that holds the answer to the problem we had all been trying desperately to solve so that we could save our astronauts from imminent doom.

Well, apparently I can go to Mars! Google and Virgin are teaming up and sending up a self-sufficient colony to Mars and you can apply to go. Here are the details. I always knew Google was going to take over the world, I just thought it would be this one and not some other planet, like Mars. :0)

On a more serious note, I have heard made a connection that may allow me to get into a more space oriented job, not any time soon, though . . . who knows where this will go. Hopefully to the stars, or maybe just to Titan.

Chocolate Milkshakes

2008-04-07T20:31:00.002-04:00

The Duchess makes the best milkshakes ever. For the past couple of months, every weekend has been Jeremy has been recovering from a trip (sleeping most of the weekend) or preparing for trip. Throw in laundry, physics homework, dishes and a few weddings and I feel like I haven't gotten a whole lot of time with him or even with myself.

This past Saturday, however, was wonderful. We slept in, went to the Duchess for milkshakes and sandwiches, and went to pick up Jeremy's bug. Nothing too amazing, but just all around good. It was good to just hang out with Jeremy a little.

Note that Jeremy is again, on the road somewhere. I believe he is in Columbus, Ohio this time.

I am very blessed, yet I am having trouble being thankful because the thing I want is busy racking up frequent flyer miles and hotel bonus points.

Back to the milkshakes, the Duchess is a little sandwich shop that was originally owned by an older couple, the Kovacs. When the mister died, Mrs. Kovacs sold the place (here is an article about that sale). Recently, the Duchess has reopened again by Mrs. Kovacs who has restored it to its original purposes: cheap, delicious milkshakes and sandwiches. For about $7.50, you can get a very large, thick shake made from real hand-dipped ice cream, and a sandwich, basic, but larger than you can fit in your mouth. MMMMMMmmmmm!

Spring time brides

2008-04-03T19:31:00.010-04:00

Last month I went to two weddings. One was for Emily, someone whom I have been friends with for as long as we've been alive. We grew up together. Though, later in high school and definitely in college, we lost touch a bit. I am so happy to see her married and very happy to be invited to celebrate with her! I have been seeing her more and so I hope that our friendship grows strong again.

This past weekend I went to a coworker's wedding in Alexandria (so basically D.C.). The two were very different. Emily's was traditional, at our home church and a lovely reception at Quiet Waters Park. Tom's wedding was at a very nice hotel and was more secular. It was also a beautiful wedding, though quite different (in rather subtle ways) than many weddings I have been to.
Tom and Genie were such a cute couple! And their cake topper was Anime! Don't ask me what character, I have no idea.
I love weddings.

P.S. More pictures from Emily's wedding and Tom's wedding.

Alone

2008-03-17T22:21:00.002-04:00

My husband travels a lot. I have learned that I don't like queen size beds all to myself. I'd rather be rushed in the morning and have to divy up shower time. I don't like there only being one toothbrush in the cup on our sink.

Some things were made to come in pairs and these things are just not right when there is only one.

I love my car.

2008-03-16T20:22:00.002-04:00

I just want to let be known that I love my little red Jetta. My husband bought her for me and I named her Gwynevere. I have had her for about 5+ months and can now drive it (even though it is a stick!) quite well. She is pretty fast, too, and has a sunroof!

It's the 'in' thing.

2008-03-15T23:21:00.003-04:00

So I love photography. I am not the best, I am about average, though at my height, I may have been slightly above average. I carried box cameras to every event I went to as a kid. I was given a Canon AE-1 (approximately 30 years old*), along with a 50mm, a wide angle, and two telephoto lenses when I was in middle school. I started shooting with that a lot. I took several photography classes in high school and learned to love black and white film and working in a darkroom. I liked having control over every print and being able to call each one my own art from from composure and shot all the way to the finished print.

I caved when I went to college and got a digital point and shoot. Unfortunately the ease of digital is hard to beat. Especially since I had no access to a dark room. Somewhere along here, my then boyfriend and now husband, Jeremy, bought a Nikon D50. A very nice digital SLR. Something I had been eying for a while but as a part-time working/full time student, a thousand bucks just wasn't feasible. My senior year at UMBC I finally could fit in a photography class and gained access to a darkroom again. My skills had definitely degraded since when I shot in film all the time, but love never wanned.

I now shoot occasionally with Jeremy's D50, occasionally with my point and shoot (incidentally which is a very nice point and shoot that I love! a Fuji E510), and least of all, occasionally with my AE-1, although again, I have no dark room so I am reduced to sending my film to someplace else.

It seems that everyone these days has at least the equivalent of a D50 and is starting a children/wedding photography business, or is an assistant to one. I am seem to have been left behind in something that I loved. Because of my reluctance to switch to digital, everyone is now better than I. Nor, even with everyone I know going pro, have I found someone who would want to take me as an assistant.

I like photography, but have I missed my chance? I don't want to be seen as following the crowd, but now with digital, anyone can be good at photography. This also means that my mediocrity will not cut it. Shall I cut my losses and find a new less expensive, less trendy hobby? Or shall I suck it up?

Unfortunately, I am a jack of all trades and master of none. I perhaps will never find something that I have a passion for and am good at. I will always just be average.

A tidbit about what love is:
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!"

Piñatas are fun.

2008-03-01T20:30:00.002-05:00

Last Sunday was my good friend, Marge's birthday. I don't know how old she is, but we can just say that her daughter is my best friend. Anyhow, what is a birthday party without a piñata? A cheesy colorful donkey piñata filled with candy! You can never get too old for that! We had fun!

In other news, Jeremy was away for two days this week and he is going be away all this upcoming week. I have been trying to supportive and encouraging while he is away, but right now that is amounting to me hiding my tears and depression until he is either out the door or we have hung up the phone for the evening. I am trying, but I was thinking about why I get upset and this is what I came up with. We have been married 7 months (as of Thursday) and I haven't yet figured out my life and how to live with Jeremy, much less how to live without him. I am not in college any more, I don't have friends withing walking distance away, I am not involved in a thousand different organizations; everyone I know has their own life, kids, jobs and I just don't fit in them well, I suppose. Without Jeremy, I get lonely. So we are looking into other positions/jobs now for Jeremy with less travel. I want Jeremy to be happy, but I also know that this isn't what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

In fact, we are both kinda in limbo. We have good jobs, but they aren't really what either of us want to do for the rest of our lives. I want a job I love and am passionate about. Maybe someday. . .

A tidbit about what love is:
The other night I was cold, even under a quilt, 2 blankets and a sheet. So my husband got out from under the warm covers to go grab me another comforter and came back and tucked me in.

A's, bananas, Hamburger Helper and grumps

2008-02-25T21:57:00.003-05:00

Ahhh, coming home from a nearly 12 hour day (including 2.5 hours of quantum mechanics) to a lovely dinner of hamburger helper made with turkey and broccoli is the best!

Banana's have been on sale lately and I had forgotten how much I like them. Except when you put them in your lunch bag and by noon everything smells and tastes slightly like bananas, too.

I got an A- on my first quantum homework!

What do these things have to do with each other? Jeremy gave thanks for all of them in his prayer before dinner. In the midst of the craziness of everything we have to remember that the totality of our lives is just the sum of each of the moments. (I know that this sentiment is ripped off from someone, but I can't remember who.) Jeremy reminded me of this.

Even when we are grumpy, we always love each other and stick by each other! Thank you, God, for every moment with Jeremy.

(P.S. Sorry for two cheesy posts in a row. Maybe the next post will be more tomato-y instead.)

Jealous . . . maybe

2008-02-23T21:53:00.002-05:00

So my husband is sitting next to me reading the back through the archives of an old friend's blog that he stumbled upon today. And he is laughing a lot. And I am a little jealous. Do I make him laugh? Hopefully. Does he care about my everyday thoughts as much? Yes, he does. Does he check my blog regularly and follow it? No, but only because I haven't posted since November. Oh, my bad. :0) No promises on fixing that though. Maybe, we shall see.

I think I am starting to adjust to my new life. It's been a lot slower process than I thought. I started classes and so the nights fill up with homework, laundry, class, and the like. The next few weekends are busy with birthdays, weddings, showers and even a play at the Academy. Maybe April will be slower. Even with all the busyness I still feel like I am not being as good of a friend as I can or should be. I haven't figured out how to fit my old life (school friends, ultimate, etc) into my new life as a working wife. Thank you, to those of you who have called me and been persistent. I am very grateful, you have meant a lot to me.

I love being married. I get to wake up next to my best friend every day! Now, this makes it even harder to get out of bed because not only is it warm under the covers, I have strong arms around me too. He makes me laugh, and even makes me dinner when I come home late after class. We argue sometimes, but thats life and I know that he will always hug me and hold me and we will work things out. I never worry about 'us'. I can cry about stupid things and he will just wipe away my tears. My cooking repertoire has expanded. We are serious together, we are goofy together. We hang out, doing nothing yet it is everything. I love every moment with him and I hope that I will never let him down. I know this sounds cheesy, but it's all true. Jeremy makes me a better woman.

I love him.

And since we are watching Forrest Gump . . .

That's all I have to say about that.

As the days go by

2007-11-26T10:10:00.000-05:00

In the past 7 months my life has completely changed. I graduated, got married, moved, changed my name, got a new job and even got a new car. One thing that hasn't changed is that I am still as bad at posting regularly as before.

I will post more extensively when I get a chance but in summary, since I have been married, I have laughed more, cooked more, and hugged more. I am so blessed to have everything I do. Occasionally I am overwhelmed by everything that is changing in my life; it seems that I have not adjusted as well or as quickly as I thought I would. But God is good and I have a husband who tells me he loves me everyday.

So I am looking at tomorrow and thinking, now what?

One month to go

2007-06-28T14:54:00.000-04:00

I am now approaching the final stretch towards my wedding. Am I ready? Well, the flowers are ordered, the church is booked, almost everyone knows when to show up I think. . . but am I ready? Some days I think I am and sometimes I am so sure. It's not really cold feet, it's more of a fear of failure.

Will I be able to support Jeremy the way he needs me too? Will he love me even if I burn dinner or when I am old? Will we be able to bring each other closer to God?

I love Jeremy with all my heart. He is my best friend in the world. I love how he is straight forward. I love his silly jokes. I love his arms around me. I love how he knows what I am thinking. I love that we can agree and we can disagree on stuff and still get along. I love everything he does for me. I love his servant's heart. I know he loves me too.

Song of Solomon 2:16 My lover is mine and I am his.

Long time, no post!

2007-06-06T11:04:00.000-04:00

Wow, it has been a while. blogger did this lovely switch to google account names and so I had to change my account and then I forgot my new password. Silly me, but rather typical.

Life is moving quickly for me. But at the same time, I seem to be dragging. I just graduated and will be moving and getting married next month. Then, immediately after that, I am starting my first real, full time job. I am a little scared. That is the fast part. The slow part is the every day. I have trouble getting up in the morning. I have trouble being motivated. I sit and ponder all sorts of things that are rushing through my head.

I have less than two months to lose weight for my wedding. HA! I have less than two months to get everything ready and this seems a little more feasible. Yet I feel so alone. Silly emotions, uncalled for. Everyone offers to help, but I am not sure how to delegate stuff. I kind of want to do everything on my own!

I am having a very hard time trusting in God. Things are going so well, when is the other shoe going to drop? I am afraid, because I know I don't deserve all these blessings and I don't appreciate them as I should.

Praying. Praying.

It's a good problem to have

2007-03-22T13:41:00.000-04:00

So I get to pick between Maryland and California. Sounds like an easy decision, huh. Too bad its way more complicated than that. I guess I just have to trust in God and pick. Neither one of these is right or wrong. My life will be good whichever place I end up. God is good, yet sometimes these decisions are so hard. Moses was lucky, he got a burning bush.

Fishing with a crane

2007-03-22T13:15:00.000-04:00

The other day I went fishing with a little crane. Well, I had thought that it was a crane. It was white, about 1.5-2 feet tall, had long legs and neck. I looked it up on google, however, and discovered that it is a snowy egret. My mistake. It was a beautiful creature, none the less. I was walking along a beach in Daytona as I saw this little bird skipping about in the shallow surf, dipping its head in the water every once in a while. I followed it slowly, at first not getting very close to it but eventually coming within about 5-6 feet from it. We developed a little understanding, he and I. I would not come closer than 5 feet unless he came to me, and he allowed me to enjoy his beauty and observe his breakfast. I am not sure what it was eating, but it was wonderful to stroll down the beach with him as my companion. I didn't mind that he didn't offer me any. I don't think that birds have the same manners as we do.

God is amazing. I look at the wonder of everything that he as made and I rejoice! I have been at the beach for the past couple of days and I am more relaxed than I have been in a very long time. I haven't had any headaches at all while being here. I have finished one book for pleasure and have made some good headway into a book for class. Our window looks over the ocean. I can hear the waves all the time.

I worship best at the beach, near an ocean. I am not sure why. I stand in with the sand squishing around my feet and I praise God. I swim into the waves and praise God. I simply stare over the vast water and I praise God. This is my sanctuary.

I have hidden your word in my heart. . .

2007-02-08T09:46:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up, I went to a Christian school for elementary school. Therefore I knew tons of Bible verses, we had to learn them every week. In high school I memorized them for youth group and missions trips. But it has been a long time since I have actively memorized scripture. This may seem like a small thing, but I don't think so. Yesterday, while listening to a very insightful lecture about language grammars, I began to write down verses that I could remember from the top of my head. I was amazed and saddened by how few I could remember both the verse and the reference or ones that I could remember verbatim.

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
Psalm 119:11

Here is an interesting aside: the one passage that I have always remembered is Psalm 121. I can quote the entire thing to you, and have always been able to do that as long as I can remember. It was never something I was told to memorize and I don't remember my reasoning behind it. I wonder why this one. . . .

It's the first day of the rest of my life

2007-02-05T05:59:00.000-05:00

This weekend was incredible in it's emotional highs and lows. I don't know if I have ever been able to be so upset with myself one day then so immensely happy the next with a few swings into intense nervousness. I have been blessed beyond measure. I have a fiance who loves me no matter what and wants me to be happy!

Today I will be told if I measure up. Today someone will tell me if I am good enough. I am scared to death and I know I will be upset if the deem me unfit, but I am a child of God. I am loved by my family, by my fiance. It doesn't matter what happens today. I have a lot of trouble trusting God with the rest of my life. Especially now, because I am supposed to be figuring out what I want to do.

You see, the problem is that I know what I want to do, I am just not sure where to do it. I want to serve God with all my heart. I want to live in the confidence and peace that he provides. I want to love Jeremy so that I help become the man God wants him to be. I want to grow old and grey with him. I want everyone I meet to know that there is something different about me. I want to leave and impression of Christ in everyone I meet.

Unfortunately, this does not translate into what job I am to take or even what profession I am to go into. Maybe it doesn't matter.

Life moves quickly

2007-02-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

This week is my last first week of classes, at least as an undergraduate. This year is going to hold a lot of changes, and already has, as young as this year is. It's weird, you know. I feel so very young and so very old at the same time. Sometimes I feel like life is passing me by.

today is an amazing day... but soon it will quickly pass and all we will be left with is tomorrow. when tomorrow comes, it will be today, and once again we will have the opportunity to make the most of it.

I have trouble living today for today.

Wuv, Twoo Wuv . . .

2006-11-28T09:12:00.000-05:00

Ever seen the Princess Bride? Wesley promises to come back but alas, he is captured and perhaps killed by pirates. But true love prevails in the end.

My friend brought up some interesting thoughts on marriage today. If marriage is a commitment, is it neccessary to dress it up with the cake and the veil and the reception and the flowers and the church? Shouldn't a quiet promise in the park be good enough?
Mattew 5:33-37
"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

James 5:12
Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

I am not sure exactly what to think on this. But I do know that the God of the universe has made covenants with people and has added all the 'frills' to assure that he would never go back on his word. The God of the universe did that! How much more should we have just trusted him than the 'promise in the park.' He put a rainbow in the sky for Noah, he made the covenant with Abraham, using all the traditions of the time including all the sacrificed animals.

I think that marriage is built on commitment. The everyday for the rest of your life kind of commitment. It is not based on a feeling or a fluttery stomache. It is saying 'Yes, I will love you today" every day for the rest of your life and living sacrificially for your significant other. The marriages that last probably could have just been promises in the park because that commitment existed with or without all the pomp. But this is a covenant that I am entering. I deep and serious covenant. It is not simply a promise or legality. It is a covenant.

started on 11/28/07, modified 2/5/07

Friends or Friends?

2006-11-18T20:13:00.000-05:00

Scattered thoughts on friendships:

I know a lot of people. I can pretty easliy talk to someone. I am an extrovert. I value my alone time, but I love people. But what makes the people I know a friend or not? Being in college and knowing so many different people, the group of people that I hang out with varies from semester to semester. It's a Saturday night and I am sitting in my room alone. How is it that I, who knows everyone, have no close friends? Or maybe its my definition that is a little askew. People whom I have thought to be close friends will find a significant other or another group of friends and then I never see them again. Or rarely. I am happy that they are happy, but I feel like an old shoe. Some people I know are just fun to hang out with, easy going, always game for something. Never judging, just fun. But then the deeper side of friendship isn't there. I envy the people who have those life long friendships or 'the gang' that they always hang out with. I am jealous of those people who you never see apart, the ones that are just that good of friends. I am also jealous of the people who live and hang out with their roommates. My roommates and I just co-exist. (Case in point, at any given moment there is at least three cartons of eggs in our fridge and two different jugs of milk.)

There are a lot of people who will call me when they are feeling bad. Or I will try to cheer them up. But then I never really see them otherwise. 'A friend in need is a friend indeed.'

I know that this is very selfish of me. For once though, I want to be the introvert. I want someone to persue me to get me to come hang out. I want a deep friendship with someone.

I also have a lot of guy friends. No big deal, but in light of my engagement what does this mean now? My fiance is my best friend, my love. Does this mean that I throw all other male friendships out the window? What happens now?

There are many groups in which I belong or attend or whichever it may be, but I don't really feel a part of it. I am involved, but rather as an outsider, just joining in every once in a while. I go, I am included while I am there, but then I leave and everyone else seems to have spent time together and knows each other's lives and such. This happens across the board, in teams I am involved in, in my sorority, in Bible studies. I am always different then everyone else. I know that I need to make an effort to be a part of the group, but is too much to hope for that someone would reach out to me? I am the one that people forget to call.
People tell stories of how God pursued them through someone else. God I am here, I am searching for you, please come find me. I don't have the strength to carry on by myself.

I love making people happy. If I could just make people happy all day every day, then I would be happy. When I was younger I considered being a clown because then it would be my job to make people laugh. Unfortunately, I am not very funny. Sometimes though, it takes away from my joy, when people can't accept someone loving on them. Don't keep telling me I didn't have to do whatever I did. I did have to. This is what makes me happy. I want to see you smiling and just enjoying life.

I know that I am supposed to have a good community of Christians and the world will know Christ's love by the way we love each other. Sometimes, I need to be reminded of Christ's love. Actually, a lot of times. Right now, I feel a closer community with the people that I drink with here and there.

I just had an ironic thought. The people whom I hang out with most are the ones who don't judge me. Any Christian who reads this will probably be judging me right now from the above line inferring that I drink. You don't know me.

All in all, this post has an incredibly selfish undertone. But I don't claim to be perfect and these are my current thoughts. I don't mean to be selfish, I am trying to fight it. It's an uphill battle.

Today decides Tomorrow

2006-11-07T15:01:00.000-05:00

Some people know what they want to do and have always known what they wanted to do. Some people grow up into a certain profession or position and life and nothing could have made any difference. This is where they were meant to be. This is just who they are. There are some people who have goals and strive passionately towards them. To go all in for a single path. They beat themselves up trying to reach it and it nearly kills them if they don't make it. For some, there is the logical, sensible, 'correct' choice to be made versus what they have dreamed of doing. And some have no dreams.

I have a friend who has dreamed of being a pilot. He always pushed away that idea because he does not have perfect eyesight and it seems to be more sensible to do what he has been pursuing, dental school. To be a dentist would ensure a good future for himself and any family. It would be following in his father's footsteps. It is the 'right' choice to prepare for tomorrow. But he wants to fly. With all the eye correction available these days, his choice has pretty much become follow the dream or the security.

To fly, or to never be knocked off his feet.

Sometimes it seems like the decisions we make today are what are going to decide every day of our future from here on out. If I don't do this one thing now, will I ever do it? Once I get that 9-5 job, will I leave it to pursue something else? Or will I be stuck working someone else's dream.

I have no singular passion. I am a jack-of-all-trades-and-master-of-none. I could do anything that I want to. I worked hard to get all the requirements done for medical school; I did everything right up to taking the MCATs. Then I stopped. I never took the MCATs. Why? I am not sure. I have seen people sitting by the computer waiting for an acceptance letter or by the mailbox, sobbing when the letter is a day late. I have seen people doubt their purpose when not making it into what applied for. I have no specific dream like this to work for, to anguish over, laugh or scream or cry about. Nothing.

My dreams have always been more abstract. I want people around me to have been affected for the good. I want to leave an impression. I want to make a difference. Maybe be Superman or something. I kind of want to do everything. See the world, stay at home and have family, build something awesome, find some proof, write a book, be a photographer.

I want to know how to live out each day. What am I supposed to be doing now and tomorrow? I often think that it would be easier to be a missionary. Because as you struggle each day for Christ, you know you are struggling for what is right. You know that you are where you are supposed to be. But here? I don't know. Its more ambiguous, it seems.

My friend made a comment today. He said that perhaps it would be better if he didn't even get accepted to dental school. But he knows he will. I have thought the same thing. I applied to a zillion colleges ( about 10) and got accepted to every single one. That did nothing for the narrowing down of the choices. And I know that if I put my some effort into it, I could get accepted to medical school, that I could do well on the MCATs. If I don't go to medical school now, will I ever? Its a long hard road and even harder to come back to. Am I just skirting around it to take the easy route out?

When you can do anything, what should you do?

Love

2006-11-06T20:49:00.000-05:00

I have yet to hear a very good definition of love outside the biblical definition from Corinthians. So often I watch people 'looking' or 'not looking', sitting anxiously by the phone, or perhaps being angry unnecessarily because their heart was stepped on. People "fall" in and out of love everyday. Shouldn't love be something more than that? Love is not about YOU, its about, well, uh, NOT you in a sense. Selflessness and love go hand in hand no matter what your background or how you look at love.

You cannot define love. It is not logical. A lot of times, it just doesn't make sense. That someone would love me unconditionally is ridiculous! I have faults, I am selfish, I am rude, I can be just plain ugly. But it happens and has happened. I think that this comic sums up a great deal about love, especially for people such as myself whom always like to break things down analytically and ususally wind up over-thinking them.
Useless.

words

2006-11-01T08:28:00.000-05:00

'When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.'

- Proverbs 10:19

Anguish of the Soul

2006-10-31T13:14:00.000-05:00

I am a people watcher. I admit it and I do it a lot. One of my favorite things to do is to find a place on campus that is "quiet" or rather where the noise of all the people around melds into a constant hum. There I will sit, maybe with a book in front of me, maybe not, and watch. People are interesting. There is the chic with the hot pink hair, fuzzy snow boots and a mini skirt in 90 degree weather. Then there passes a group of sorority girls all in pink and lots of make up. The artists are at a table across from me, skinny, dark hair poking every which way, always in browns or earth tones. A shout arises from the group of boys sitting in a circle all with laptops, I guess one of them as defeated the next level of dungeons and dragons.

I watch a lot. Sometimes I imagine what their lives are like too. Ever try that? It can get scary or ridicilous or thought provoking. Maybe under that makeup, the sorority girl is very lonely. Perhaps the artist sits and wonders if he will ever amount to anything, if anyone will ever appreciate his work or see the his emotions reflected in his creations. Suppose the pink haired girl is just daring someone, anyone to make a comment about her outfit, or for someone to notice her for whatever reason. What are they thinking? Are they happy? sad? I found that more people than you would think are lonely. Maybe they are all lonely. Maybe we are all lonely.

In one of Frank Peretti's books, I believe it was the Prophet, the main character is able to hear other people's souls. He hears a women's sorrow and guilt of an abortion, another girl's fear of abuse. There is one scene in which he is shown listening to the wails and cries that just penetrate the air, that come from every heart. Can you imagine being able to hear another's soul? Would we be able to love them more? Or would we love them less?

I was given a challenge last week. How do you look at the whole world, every single person, as made in the image of God.? Try doing it, its hard. There are some people you love and serve out of love, there are some people you serve out of 'obligation'. You may even pretend that it is hard to love these people. I know I do, but there are always those who are just so annoying, or who might have hurt you just one too many times, or just smell funny, that it really is hard to love. I like to think of myself as a kind and loving person. But I can list several names just from the top of my head of people I know and don't love, and have excuses for not loving, or simply just ignore because I don't like them. But you know, they are made in the image of God too. It is so hard.

What's going on in their souls?

On Today

2006-10-30T19:23:00.000-05:00

This blog was started basically so I could respond to a different blog that required a username and password. Perhaps, though, it will be a good place to post day to day thoughts. Writing thoughts down is helpful in the fact that often I forget the genius ideas I had yesterday so I am resigned to being the every-day person that you see before you. Now I may be able to harness this inner genius that excapes so easily. Also, this is not the every-so-trendy (at least among college age people) myspace, facebook, live journal, or xanga.